Talk:Essays/@comment-4423292-20151216185845

Want vs Consent
How does this translate to sexual consent?

Does it mean that wanting it isn't enough by itself; a person can be raped by someone they wanted to have sex with, if they didn't consent? ("You're hot and you're flirting with me but I'm in a monogamous relationship that I want to honor, so I don't consent to having sex with you even though I want too.")

And on the flip side, does it mean that someone could consent to sex that they didn't want? (If you think that someone doesn't want to have sex, despite saying yes, then of course be a decent human being and don't.) But people aren't mind-readers, and it's only reasonable to assume that "yes" actually does mean "yes." How are you supposed to know if they don't really mean it?

If you had sex you didn't want, even if you consented to it, it could certainly feel like rape. But the person whom you had sex with, being normal person and not a mind-reader, wouldn't be a rapist.

And what about sex you did want, but didn't consent to? If someone sensed that you wanted it, even if you were saying not, they likely got kind of pushy, and came on too strong, resulting in the said sex. You're likely to feel guilty about it; like you didn't make your, "No," strong or clear enough.