User talk:Livi en Rose

Welcome
Hi, welcome to ! Thanks for your edit to the User talk:Rabbitty page.

Please leave a message on my talk page if I can help with anything! Rabbitty (talk) 17:21, February 6, 2016 (UTC)

Viorica & Alcohol
Oh completely! It fits so neatly that I honestly don't know how it didn't cross my mind until now.

It also makes me wonder: if her parents knew about her drinking, weather she abandoned the twins or if they took them away from her. I'm not sure which would be better. -R. A. B. 04:50, February 7, 2016 (UTC)


 * Yeah, she definitely didn't want him to know where she was. D'you think she drank at home, so she was around but inattentive, or out, so the twins were left alone? -R. A. B. 16:02, February 7, 2016 (UTC)

I can't stop grinning now, that is so sweet
That is really sweet, I'm so flattered, thank you :3 -R. A. B. 22:24, March 20, 2016 (UTC)
 * I completely relate and empathize with you about the school thing
 * That is cute
 * I should make some sort of timeline. (I think I'll be able to sometime this week, but we'll see.) If you can think and figure out the "when" of it, we can look at that in relation to other events and figure out a plan.

Re:
Oh my gosh hi!! It's so good to hear from you.

I’m one semester into my first year at uni now. I’m going to school in Honolulu, and for the most part I really like it. I’m studying Chinese right now, actually. I haven’t used my Spanish for about a year; I stopped just when I was getting to the point where I could simply speak it, thanks to life being inconvenient. The new semester starts in about a week, though, and I plan to audit a Spanish class and get back into it then. Le extraño.

I don’t have some secret sauce to character building, much as I wish I did. I’ll try to give you some pointers though:
 * Keep your cast of characters smallish. I always thought I should have fewer than I did, and even so, I think I kept my count on the lower side of average. It’s never a good idea to spread yourself too thin, or bite off more than you can chew. Try to avoid making “fad” characters. (I don’t think I ever made a character for an expansion.) If one of the others has a great idea for a new crew of characters and invites you to make one… I’m not saying don’t, but don’t do it every time.
 * Don’t second-guess yourself. Don’t roll back your ideas because you’re worried it might be stupid. We all have the stupid ideas sometimes. And it’s really, really hard to tell which ones they are until you’re looking back with hindsight. And if it is a stupid idea, all well, it’ll make you smile when you look back on it in a year or two. (The other cool thing about bad ideas is that they serve as good markers; indicators of where you were at that point in your life. In hindsight, Yel was a pretty bad idea, but she can tell me something about how I was thinking in a short span of my life.)
 * Let them do whatever the hell they want. Free range characters. Do they have a weird crush that flies in the face of their current storyline and everything you thought you knew about their sexuality? You don’t have to pursue it, but let them have it. (I think Oz had a lo-key crush on Niall.) Do they stay frustratingly quiet all day but then start playing when you’re trying to sleep or study? Indulge them. I’m not sure if these are tips to responsible character building, but they’re what worked for me. Maybe (almost certainly) I’m overindulgent. I wrote like 100 pages for Ileana, and I’ve got probably 10 more of notes, scraps, and extras that didn’t even make it into that.

I wish I had better advice for you. Just this month, I’ve gotten really fired up about a story idea I had a year or two ago. I want it to be about a trio, because I’m into trios right now. One of the three I have a fairly clear sense of, one I have a framework for, and one I just can’t seem to figure out at all, try as I might. I think I’m rusty. -- -R. A. B. 07:08, January 4, 2018 (UTC)

I am ridiculous (and was even more ridiculous then)
Hey Livi!! Good to hear from you again :D

Wow. That story's being opened up again. I don't quite know what to make of that. At the time, I think that I—more than everyone else—really didn't want it to be over. I had a lot more thoughts and feeling about those characters, and I couldn't let it rest until I wrote 100 pages about Ileana. Now though, years later, I do sort of feel like the story's closed after some fashion, even if it was cut off prematurely.

As for the Luca thing, at the end of my Ileana fic, she's worked through a lot of stuff and it many ways she's in a much better place than she's ever been in her life. But also, having "worked through stuff" is one thing when the people it relates to aren't there. I always thought that when the people actually meet again, Ileana would probably have to re-worked through a couple more things. And the idea that she would sleep with whoever she first sees again, that's based in this idea that, "I lost you. I lost you all. And now I'm old enough and wise enough to know that nothing is truly guaranteed, nothing is completely secure. I will never again believe I can't lose you, but, for a little while, I'd like to hold you as close to me as possible, and pretend to myself—just for a moment—that I can't lose you." The "would sleep with the first person who comes back" concept—that's never really about desire, it's about "let me cling to you for a moment." And that absolutely applies to Luca just as much as it applies to everyone else—perhaps even more so.

But that sleeping with Eca somehow feels more incestuous than sleeping with Luca—yeah, I have no idea what's up with that XD Because honestly, "incestuous" is the best word to describe why sleeping with Eca is just no.

But back to Luca. That it's "too real" is perhaps an oversimplification. It's more like, "We are going to be in each other's lives now. I fucking mean it—we're going to be in each other's lives now!! No more disappearing acts!!! We are going to be major players in each other's lives, for the rest of our lives. And so there's a level of responsibly that comes with this—I can't afford to be rash and do something that fucks up our relationship (or worse, gives you an excuse to run away again. I fucking mean it Luca—I will track you this time). And so deciding to sleep with you on a whim, the night of our reunion when I'm super emotional—that's just too reckless. Not that it's necessarily a bad idea, but that it warrants some forethought. So let's just go to sleep, and we'll see if it still seems like a good idea tomorrow."

I'm not sure if I wrote something on this idea or not, but it's clear in my head. I'd have to look again through my docs from that time. If I didn't text-write it, then I mentally wrote it. There was a Cristi version, a Luca version, and a Kat version, because those were the ones that really interested me. Sort of in the vein of a choose-your-own-adventure final scene of the Ileana fic I wrote (or more actually, scene one of the next book of the Ileana story).

I don't know how well I articulated my weird thoughts. I'm writing this when it's kind of late, and it's been an emotional day (just went to a funeral). I hope you can understand part of my crazy heart/mind XD  -R. <font color="Black">A. <font color="Black">B. 07:28, December 29, 2018 (UTC)

I'm looking back over all the pages I had from EESM era. I'm pretty sure I had a couple that I deliberately hid, making them templates with obscure names, and now I can't remember what they were XD

I'm very hesitant to re-read my Ileana story, The Last Three Years, again now, because I put so much work and emotion into it. It's one of the few things I've ever written that I've actually completed, and—to this day—I'm proud of that. But I wrote it years ago, and I suspect that if I look at it in hindsight, I'm going to think it's poorly written and be embarrassed by it. And after working for so long on it, caring about it so much, I don't want to be ashamed of it. -<font color="Black">R. <font color="Black">A. <font color="Black">B. 23:03, January 12, 2019 (UTC)


 * I'm skimming through it to check a few details like names. I had totally forgotten I wrote this background subplot about their father's new, somewhat younger boyfriend, Dinu, who was about to move in with him. But then his daughter showed up out of the blue, completely distraught, and stayed with him for several weeks, the boyfriend moving in thing got put on hold.
 * Another fun rediscovery: this line, from my old odds-and-ends file (ie. Ileana-related stuff that wasn't ultimately worked into The Last Three Years). There was no context, just this one line all by itself, so I have no idea where I was going with it: "No, Emelia, you do not get my goddamn blood. My blood is mine and you cannot have it."
 * -<font color="Black">R. <font color="Black">A. <font color="Black">B. 23:59, January 12, 2019 (UTC)

More old, out-of-context lines that are making me chuckle and giving me terrible feels
And then there's this one, which I do remember the context to: It's the she would probably sleep with the first person from EESM she reunites with thing you were asking about. -<font color="Black">R. <font color="Black">A. <font color="Black">B. 00:13, January 13, 2019 (UTC)
 * "I have a brother to find. I have a father I can't vanish on. There's a child who needs me, at least for now. There's a girl I need to apologize to, and a man I need to thank. I have a friend I may need to avenge. And if I'm lucky—if I'm very, very lucky—I might have a people to reunite. And so I can't die, not here, not now, not yet."
 * "Everything begins in the end."
 * "It’s kind of awful, but I think running away was the bravest thing I’ve ever done. I chose to stay alive."
 * "I think in order to truly, truly love someone, you have to know them well enough that you hate them a little bit too."
 * "Because the night is cold, and life's too short to sleep alone if I don't have to. Because—quite frankly—I didn't think about where I'd put everyone when I invited them, and there's space in my room." She held out her hand. "Because you're beautiful. Because I missed you. C'mon."