Talk:EESM Ideas/@comment-4423292-20141019015920

"Once upon a time, when they were both younger, my grandfathers spent some time hanging out in the Kermlin and having 3-ways with someone named Arnbjørg. She got pregnant, and had twins. They did paternity tests, and they're each father to one of them. Those are my half-uncles Vova and Kolya. Then Slava — my mum's dad — got married and had 4 kids. My uncle Zino; my mum, Lilya, and her twin, my uncle Afonya; and my aunt Lera. I'm taller than her. Then my grandma died when they were little. Meanwhile, Dima had been fucking his way across Europe, like 8 times. He has tons of kids, I don't even think he knows how many. Among them, my aunt Mila and my dad, Miro. They're full siblings, both of their mum's Katya. Then Slava and Dima got bored of having Vova and Kolya or something, and wanted to be related again, so they made my mum and dad get married. I think Dima and Slava should just get married themselves. To try to get my mum and dad to hate them less about the whole thing, they bought them a house. A duplex, and they gave the other half to my aunt Mila, and this guy named Edik who they'd just made her marry. It was cheaper than getting them both their own house. My aunt Mila had Lavrik, then my mum had me and Yulyushen'ka."